At first, my mental state was somewhere between a drug-induced coma and a nervous breakdown. Having been catapulted into a world of unknowns, I was unable to function, much less make all the weighty decisions that were presented. Few are equipped with the ability or knowledge to know what to do in the many situations that surface after the death of a spouse. Most of us are forced to grope in the dark and fumble our way through.

Inspiration for this workbook came during the eighth month of grieving through this difficult and painful experience. By then I had met several other widowed individuals, each with horror stories that were beyond belief. I told my counselor that something had to be done to protect survivors. The workbook took more than a year to compile, and it is the result of the collective efforts of professionals who are respected members of their profession and communities.

My goal in writing this is to help people who are in the throes of grief manage the transition more smoothly during the first few hours, days, weeks, and months following the death of a loved one. In addition, the guidelines herein can reduce or eliminate most of the disorganized frenzy, injustices, and mysteries that often, but do not have to, occur. Planning ahead is crucial. Remember, if you don’t plan ahead and have your thoughts in writing, the state, quarreling siblings, or a host of entities over which you have no control, will make your decisions for you. Protect your loved ones. I can’t impress upon you enough the urgency in which these matters should be taken care of.

You are invited to hold my hand through the complicated and overwhelming maze that lies ahead of you…The maze of survival.